I am NOT a morning person and foolishly still believe in the morning miracle.You close your eyes and convince yourself that snoozing five more minutes will somehow give you the benefit of ten.The saying that time flies is so very true, especially in the mornings. It is usually with disbelief and confusion when I look at the alarm clock and find that the five minutes turned into fifteen! This is where my fright or flight reaction kicks into full gear and I stumble out of bed, now wide awake! Really frightened!
Instantly the real "super-mom" in me comes out as I try to multitask my way through confusion.I run a bath, rush into my sons room and demand in a not too calm voice that he gets out of bed immediately! Now this is truly where the proverbial garbage hit the fan. True to the gene pool he comes from he of course is NOT a morning person as well! Running downstairs I turn on the kettle , shout a few times upstairs for everyone to get up (no reply ,of course). Why do water take so long to boil in the morning? Coffee in hand I charge upstairs to great expectations ,only to find a bath almost to the brim with steaming hot water and everyone still somewhere in REM sleep. Now what is a panic stricken mother to do? I revert to the tactic that has proven results: I change the tone of my voice, which somehow is unbearable to sleepyheads. Getting the bath water to the right temperature of course only adds to the time restraint. Finally having my son in the bath half asleep sipping his coffee, I run downstairs to see if I can break the world record in making lunch, breakfast and finding some clothes for him to wear. Every now and then I take a sip of my coffee but there is really no time for such a luxury.
Finally I have him downstairs half dressed ,because somehow I left the clothes in the washing machine and "conveniently" forgot to put it in the drier. Hoping that clothes can dry in five minutes I leave him to finish breakfast. I run upstairs throw on the closest thing resembling an outfit, run downstairs, get him to brush his teeth while I take out semi dry clothes.
It usually takes about twenty minutes to get to school, but we only have ten! Grabbing my half empty coffee mug I get in the car but have nowhere to put it, because of course it does not fit in the cup holder. Trying to make up time (what a ridiculous suggestion) I drive one handed and just a tiny bit above the speed limit. We arrive in one piece with only a few seconds to spare and a sigh of relief can be heard miles away.
Much more calmly and relieved I drive home, and it is at this time that the passenger I mentioned before comes and joins me in the car. Upon closer inspection I find that I am still wearing my slippers,sweatpants with clorox stains as well as the accompanying t-shirt full of holes and of course also stained with clorox. Yesterdays clothes, the ones I used for cleaning. As I look in the rear view mirror I do a double take. Mascara smeared eyes and a haphazard ponytail is staring back at me. I also realize with horror that I did not brush my teeth. The little bit of fear is having me imagine all sorts of little scenarios. For instance a scenario where I may have to get out of my car or speak to someone else!
You would think that the little bit of fear would keep this from happening again,but somehow I always push the envelope, always hoping for the best.
If you are a "morning" person like me please let me know I am not standing alone.
My daily school run includes wet hair, sweats, and leopard-skin slippers! I learned to at least get OUT of my pajamas - way too risky in Wisconsin's dicey weather, although I had a close call recently during a huge snowstorm when I, in a moment of sheer genius, decided to 'avoid' the long line of cars backed up because of icy hills & take an alternate, though unfamiliar, route. A word to the wise - one who avoids well-traveled road in a snow storm runs the risk of ending up on an unploughed, impassable road - whether you are in leopard-skin slippers or not! I got stuck twice, but thankfully managed to maneuver my way back to the 'known, but crowded' road. Mind you, by the time I got there, the traffic jam had cleared. Barely had time to panel-beat my face into shape for work that day! Whew!
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